It's simply amazing. One thought, one action, the world questions everything about you.
About two weeks ago, I made the decision to put a smile on my face and keep it there. It all started kinda as a joke as I quipped to my GSM about smiling and making people wonder what you've been up to. It struck a thought inside and I decided to try it out. Since then, I have been upbeat, smiling, and whimsical about what's going on and it's driving everyone crazy. I am laughing so much inside and out, it is simply amazing.
One side effect is that it has changed my attitude and outlook. I am genuinely happy and while I still have the same issues and problems, they just don't seem as heavy as they were before. I've found the old me and I like it. I don't see life with rose colored glasses, but I have just minimized the things I used to place in front of me like obstacles blocking my view. My perspective is different, my outlook on things is a bit more carefree!
About a month ago, my daughter and her fiancé finally moved out. It has taken some getting used to, but now I enjoy the solace of just doing what I want and need to without having to worry about waking someone or working around them. I restored a dresser the kids were going to throw out and I will use it now in my spare bedroom for guests, should any come. After I clean the carpets, I will set up a bed as well, then close off the room to keep it clean. I plan to make the smaller of the two empty rooms a home office of sorts, putting my computer desk, filing cabinet, and treadmill among other things in there, making more space in my bedroom.
Four years have now passed since my surgery and it seems like a lifetime. I am still a 'virgin', per se, and I am not dating nor looking to date. I'm working on finding out more about myself and the talents I have hidden inside and making them grow. I don't know what they are, don't know what I really want to do at this point, but I do know that something will spark my interest, curiosity, or desire. But right now, I love being me. There is a freedom and a peace that is immeasurable and I embrace it fully!
